People never realize the impact their actions have on others. Like the tsunami that happened off the coast of Sumatra and destroyed Sri Lanka almost 1,000 miles away.
As I summarized in why I applied for a C.G., I was laid off in May of 2008. Concurrently, a young man that my husband I had been mentoring, became our foster child. Sadly, no one told us that he had very real mental issues. It's hard to tell a mentally-ill teenager from an average teenager. And that says something about being a teenager. In any case, six months later, he was on drugs, became violent and literally beat us up on Christmas Day. He was removed from our care thereafter. If you've watched the movie, The Blind Side, we were the polar opposite of Sandra Bullock's experience.
I assembled my BCG application during the time period of his drug use and applied directly after he left our home. I have no doubt that had an impact on how I assembled the application. However, by that time I had been out of work for 9 months and was strongly thinking of doing research for hire in between writing books. Then six months later, I was rejected.
That rejection, coupled with the year plus of unemployment and failed foster child experience lead me to a severe depression, where I had to be hospitalized. It took another nine months to recover from that. I'm sure the BCG judges had and have no idea what they did to me. It was the last straw in a series of traumatic experiences for me. As I've said, it has tainted genealogy for me possibly forever. I sit most days vacillating between staying and going with this blog, now the only genealogical outlet I have left. It's also why in April when the computer died, I was quite ready to walk away from the whole thing.
But a year has gone by. I have a new job now [non-genealogical and non-librarian]. I can write about the experience with a slight degree of objectivity. As for genealogy, when I blew off the genealogical society that I had promised to lecture to, the lady said, "give up genealogy? No one gives up genealogy. It's addictive." Well, lady, we'll see. I gave up cigarettes and caffeine. I'm pretty sure I can give up anything.